1. |
Light My Tinder
03:32
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Light my Tinder
You know that it would be untrue
If I said that I swiped left on you
And I would be considered a beastly liar
If I said that your attire was the only thing I - hold on...
...Is that a pretty dog with you
That is sitting by the swimming pool
And I see that you’ve got friends, that’s pretty cool
And your sparing use of smileys is intriguing and beguiling
Come on baby light my tinder
I don’t care if you’re called Debbie or Melinda
I’m just looking for a simple girl
Who will make me feel like I’m the world
We can have some sex tonight
Or just a blowjob/handjob/fingerblast, wouldn’t that be nice?
So swipe right!
Please swipe right!
The time to masturbate is through
My hands are stiff, my balls are blue
I’m not looking to have children with you!
Although I will never tire till I’m singing in the choir
Come on baby, put your finger into it
And pretty soon we can get down to the nittier grit of it
Modern love
That’s right, I think I love you
You look pretty good on your photos
But I imagine you look rather different in real life
But still swipe right
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2. |
The Hunger
04:08
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The Hunger
I get the hunger in the middle of the night
I feel so hungry but I can’t have a bite
I get the hunger and I feel quite unwell
I look at you sleeping and I think ‘bloody hell’
I don’t know why, I don’t know why
I’ve got this hunger in my bones
I don’t know why, I don’t know why
I have this hunger and I can’t think at all
Of having a wife
Or children with you
When I go out all I want to do
I’ve got the hunger (choeur: he’s got the hunger)
I’ve got the hunger (choeur: he’s got the hunger)
I’ve got the hunger (choeur: he’s got the hunger)
For other girls than you
So I’ll go hungry for a couple days
My body soon decides I’m not supposed to be this way
So I have to look on the internet for some more food
But the food don’t like me, and it can be quite rude
I don’t know why, I don’t know why
I’ve got this hunger in my bones
I don’t know why, I don’t know why
I have this hunger and I can’t think at all
Of getting a wife
Or children with you
When I go out all I want to do
I’ve got the hunger
I’ve got the hunger
I’ve got the hunger
For other girls than you
I’ve still got the hunger in the middle of the night
I still feel hungry and I still don’t get a bite
I’ll have the hunger until I die
And I look at the empty bed and I think ‘Oh why’?
[synth crescendo followed by intro drum figure]
I don’t know why, I don’t know why
I’ve got this hunger in my bones
I don’t know why, I don’t know why
I have this hunger and I can’t think at all
Of having a wife
Or children with you
When I go out all I want to do
I’ve got the hunger (choeur: he’s got the hunger)
I’ve got the hunger (choeur: he’s got the hunger)
I’ve got the hunger (choeur: he’s got the hunger)
I’ve got the hunger (choeur: he’s got the hunger)
I’ve got the hunger (choeur: he’s got the hunger)
I’ve got the hunger (choeur: he’s got the hunger)
I’ve got the hunger (choeur: he’s got the hunger)
I’ve got the hunger (choeur: he’s got the hunger)
For other girls than you
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3. |
Blue
03:28
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Blue
How do you feel today?
Do you feel better than yesterday?
I don’t know it’s hard to say
And when will the blues go away?
Do you think it’s anytime soon?
I don’t know, I really don’t know
It’s a cliché but I’m feeling rather blue
I’m blue, quite blue without you
I’m looking rather well but a don’t be a fooled by my skin
It’s young and fresh and hiding everything
Below, like tears and things
And a bit of disco
Who did you see today?
Anyone special?
No one can be special except her
And when will she stop being so fucking extraordinary?
Do you think it’s anytime soon?
I don’t know, I really don’t know
It’s a cliché but I’m feeling rather blue
Did she move away? (yes)
Did she take your pay? (yes)
Did you go cray cray? (yes)
Is there no one else to blame but her?
Guess what? I’m blue, quite blue without you
I’m looking rather well but a don’t be a fooled by my skin
It’s young and fresh and hiding everything
Below, but I’m gonna try to let go
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4. |
OCD Girlfriend
02:51
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OCD Girlfriend
Did you remember to switch off the lights?
(no)
Did you remember to shut the door?
(no)
Did you remember to switch off the lights?
(no)
And turn them off and on again a million times to feel that you are right
When you’ve got an OCD girlfriend
A maybe you should have left her alone friend
I would have broke up with you if only I could
But the sex is just so good
I know it’s cheeky
But I know I really should
Wait
Did you remember to feed the cat?
(no)
Did you remember to feed Mr Biggles
(fuck off)
Did you remember to feed the cat?
(no)
Did you remember to do it or was it me who was supposed to be doing that?
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5. |
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Bossa nova song gone wrong
She was far, the sea was near
Treachery in the atmosphere
I wish I could have kept that stuff in Brazil
I went to another town
Took a bus and boogied down
I wish I could have kept that fact in Brazil
He was such a bad, bad boy
She found out and really cried
Her name was Sol and she was cool
She had a boyfriend who played the flute
So I decided to make out with her best friend
We went out to a night club
Kissed a lot but didn’t fuck
She was reticent because it was her period
He was such a bad, bad boy
She found out and really cried
And now he’s all alone without her love
But he’s got a lot of memories
And some sexual diseases
But I would have preferred to have kept her love
We could have had a family
But now all that I’ve got is this bossa nova song gone wrong
She was there when I got off the plane
But I couldn’t tell her half of my game
Because I was already cheating on her with a French girl
We went home, she looked at my phone
Saw the picture of my little Flo
And now she decided that she didn’t want to be my girlfriend no more
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6. |
Liar
03:45
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Liar
I’ve lied before
I’ll lie again
I’m lying every time, it’s easier than the truth
I’ve got some lies
You’d be surprised
I’m lying to you now but you will never know
And When I say I love you
Doesn’t mean that I love you
Just means I’m scared of being alone
And when I say I need you
Doesn’t mean that I need to
Just means I need a temporary home
I’ve been untrue
This much is true
I’ve cheated and I’ve lied, but I have rarely cried
I like your hair
I do, I swear
And every word is fitting, but I don’t fucking care
I’ve lied before
I’ll lie again
I’m lying every time, it’s more real than the truth
I’ve got some lies
Some porky pies
You think that romance is hitting but it’s ill advised
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7. |
I <3 My Phone
04:01
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I love my phone
There’s an earthquake in a place I don’t even know
Some invitations to somebody’s puppet show
And David Bowie is dead
It’s only 3am and I am still in bed
With a girl I slept with a long time ago
Her trashy messages still make the bedroom glow
And I’m violently wet
A shake of the wrist and youporn’s on me instead
There’s such a lot going on
It’s a digital world and you’re invited
Creatures of the light
(Drop your phone and run away)
Are you crazy, baby?
(Facebook melts your brains away)
It doesn’t, it’s amazing
(Drop your phone and run away)
Are you nuts? I don’t want to do that
(Facebook melts your brains away)
I read the Guardian too
(Drop your phone and run away)
Does this café have wifi?
(Facebook melts your brains away)
For all my homies that pass by
I love my phone
I’m not jealous of these people I barely know
The male model whose life is an endless flow
Of love and selfies so nice
It’s a pretty damn shame that I can’t like his posts twice
That’s the number of friends I lost this year
The water’s shallow but I still have a mortal fear
Of getting filtherly wet
I think I’ll sit back and swip the ceiling
Abigail, Abigail
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8. |
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Helen, a baby will not do
How I will cry
When I see her with another guy
And how I will hurt
When I find out he’s a jerk
But I will never forgive myself
No, I’ll have to pull out both my eyes
If I find out Helen Bird is pregnant
By another guy
By another guy
Don’t put something else inside of you
I don’t mind a penis but a baby will not do
A baby will not do
A baby will not do
No, Helen, a baby, Helen, a baby
Helen, a baby will not do
How will I cope
When she moves to Berlin?
And how I will choke
As I smoke my body thin
(Let’s try this in another key maybe you’ll understand this time)
I will survive
If I end my days alone
And I won’t complain
If my love hides under a stone
But I will never forgive myself
No, I’ll have to pull out both my eyes
If I find out Helen Bird is pregnant
After an unprotected screw
An unprotected screw
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9. |
Rocky Horror High
03:55
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Rocky Horror High
She took my records
She took my keys
She left the photograph while I was saying cheese
Jaime left me now my life is shite
She was my woman
She killed me man
She left for Colorado to work on her tan
Jaime left me now my life is shite
I took boxes to her baggage
Stuffed them with her bleeding luggage
Fuck your country girl
My favourite in the world
I can’t destroy
That thing that died
Still I cling to her
In Rocky Horror high I’m sticking
Where eagles fly
And trucks drive by
Lying close to her
That’s why I’m leaving you
She made an actor
She made him feel
She gave enough to fill up a whole damn show reel
Jaime left me now my life is shite
She made me meta
She made me real
She made me grow the skin that never could be peeled
Jaime left me now my life is shite
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10. |
Final Tune
02:52
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Final Tune
What shall we do now that the end is nigh?
Let’s get wasted, no time to cry
I said let’s do it nice for very first time since we’ve
dated
I’m elated
To be with you
For this final tune
We had some good times
Shame it must end
But why should we spend
This last night malcontent?
Baby baby baby now would be a good time to repent
(Now would be a good time to be a gent)
Oh momma
No time to go to sleep
Resting is for the weak
The world we know has gone
But god you still turn me on
What shall we do now that we’re just good friends?
Let’s get naked and make amends
I said, let’s pump and grind till our sore bodies mend
Until Thursday
I’m still thirsty
For your big boobs
Your pants and your shoes
Your lack of dimples
Slide down your face
But there’s no disgrace in mixing time with space
Baby baby baby let’s create some good times to erase
(It will be soon erased without a trace)
What shall we do now that the end is nigh?
Let’s get wasted, no time to cry I said
Treat me real sweet before we hit delete
And we’re cremated
I’m elated to be with you
For this final tune
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11. |
Pretty F*****g Funny
03:42
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Pretty Fucking Funny
Oooh something, something in the sky is grey
And I’m not just talking about the clouds that smirk that way
Something is missing from my life
It could be a dog, it could be a wife
It’s certainly a lack of fidelity
Or maybe that’s the way I was supposed to be
I’m gonna sing a song to bring some sunshine to your life
Tell some filthy jokes that’ll make you feel alright
Life can be upsetting but it’s also rather daft
So let’s laugh,
Ha ha ha it so funny
Ha ha it can be pretty fucking funny
Ha ha it can be pretty fucking funny
Pretty fucking funny alright
Oooh somehow, somehow my body got bent
And I’ve got no answers for why this hardship was sent
Maybe I was Stalin in a past life
Maybe I just didn’t treat my lady right
Maybe I was a believer in astrology
Or maybe that’s the way I was supposed to be
This is the middle eight. I didn’t want to include it but if I didn’t, the song would sound too funny, and not in a good way. I’m so glad you would stick around and listen to this silly song. So why don’t we just laugh together? Come on!
That isn’t funny anymore, It’s too high!
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